Death Makes You Think

My step-grandma died the past week. I wasn’t super close to her (my dad has only been remarried for a couple years), but death is such a hard thing to see. She died from cancer. I have never really had the experience on seeing someone on their deathbed before. The chemo had failed and she was just at home waiting to go. Whenever I was in the room with her all I could do was pray, pray for her, for the family, I just felt so helpless. Death is something I don’t quite understand yet. You always hear people say “they had done all that God wanted them to do.” And I also wonder, well yeah but couldn’t there have been more? And cancer is just so nasty. I hate that we live in a world with those kinds of diseases. I want to just be able to reach out and grab the cancer out of her and help her up off the bed and back to her normal life. I understand now why Jesus would send out all the crying and mourning women when he went to heal someone. Because I know full and well that Jesus can heal anything, but in the room I could just feel a presence of hopelessness. And without faith it is extremely hard for Jesus to move. The Bible says in Matthew 13:58 “And so he did only a few miracles there because of their unbelief.” But I will be the first to admit that faith for healing is not the easiest thing to have. Especially when it is cancer that has spread all throughout someone’s body. So yeah, death is a pretty rough thing that makes you evaluate a lot of stuff.