I won’t claim to be any kind of dating expert, but I have gleaned some wisdom over the years and I’ve seen a lot of dating relationships, both good and bad. Here’s the dating advice I’ve come up with. Let me know what you think!
1. Let God complete you.
There’s this romantic notion that there is a man or woman out there somewhere that will complete us—our “other half.” Guys, that’s not true.
It’s true that we’re missing something in our lives. But only God can fill that void. Only God can fulfill us and “complete” us. When we look to a dating relationship to complete us, we will be, at best, disappointed.
2. Only date believers.
Period. We like to pretend this is a grey area. It’s not. The Bible tells us, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Cor. 6:14). The verse goes on to ask what righteousness and wickedness and what light and darkness have in common. The answer is nothing!
If Jesus is really Lord of your life, He’s most important in your life. You cannot have a good, deep relationship with someone whose purpose, affections, and vision are completely different than your own.
3. Be the kind of person you want to date.
If you want to date someone godly and kind, make sure you’re godly and kind. If you want someone who looks good and is in shape, take care of yourself. It might sound harsh, but a 10 generally doesn’t date someone who’s a 4.
When I was younger, I remember hearing “Don’t look for ‘the one;’ be ‘the one.’” I probably rolled my eyes at that when I heard it, but there’s some wisdom there. Make sure you have the qualities that you’re looking for in the person you date.
4. Date to marry.
This implies a few different things:
A. Don’t date someone you couldn’t see yourself marrying.
B. Don’t date until you’re at a point in your life where you could get married within a couple of years.
C. Pray about it before you date someone. This should be way higher up on my list of tips. There’s no reason God can’t tell you if that’s the person you should date and marry!
5. Get accountability.
Lots of people make the decision to wait until marriage to have sex. Lots of people wear “True love waits” rings and carry their commitment cards in their wallet. And lots of people have sex before they’re married. Something’s gotta change.
When two people are alone late at night, snuggling on the couch, knowing that no one will ever know what happens between the two of them, it’s natural that they’re gonna want to have sex. And it usually happens, unless they do something differently.
You guys, it really stinks to be alone with the person you love and not be able to touch them. AT ALL. But you also don’t have sex or do other physical things you shouldn’t be doing when you don’t touch. And you don’t have sex in front of other people. Or in public places. So do what you need to do to keep from compromising on your decision to remain pure. Tell someone else about your decision and have them hold you accountable. Let them ask you about what happened on each date. You have to do things differently, but you can be sexually pure on your wedding day!
6. Get godly wisdom.
If you think you might be interested in dating someone, get advice from people who know you and the other person. Don’t ask your friends who will only tell you what you want to hear. Ask your parents or pastor. Other people may be able to see things you don’t and give you wise council. Listen to them!
God wants us to have good relationships and happy marriages. In a society that really only gives us the pattern for bad relationships, we have to follow a different model! Let’s surrender our lives to God—even our love lives!
Great post Erica! Lots of good tips.
that is an awesome Blog! I really needed to read this it helped me alot to know more about dating especially since I am dating someone and its totally something new and there is so much you can and can’t do on a date or when you are dating. I have a question though? what do you do when your dating someone that wants to kiss you but they can’t because the girls parents won’t let them?
I’m glad you found it helpful! About your question: it seems like the girl’s parents might know what’s best. Like I said in the blog post, I think it’s really great to have parents and other people give you wisdom about a relationship. Also, for a lot of people, kissing leads to other sexual temptations, so it might just be better for the couple to stay away from it anyway.
🙂 thanks Erica, this helped alot, what do you do if like the boy has problems with just talking about himself and not showing any interest in the girl and the girl is sorda getting frustrated with it and doesnt know what to do? she wants to talk to him about it and tell him how she feels but she doesnt know what will happen when she does.
Hey, I’m gonna send you an email 🙂
#6 is clutch. I’ve got into bad relationships because I got advice from people I shouldn’t have been asking.
Thank you, pastor Sean , Erica, Nike and others who have brought the television program TV ONE LIFE. We needed this kind of program.
We’re so glad you like the show! What network do you watch TV One Life on?
Beloved sister in Christ I am so glad that you have replied so soon.I watch TV ONE LIFE on GOD TV.
We are exited for new ideas that you great guys always come up with. Well I say a great treat for all youngsters like me.Again thousands of thank you to all guys.I watch your show on GOD TV from India.
I’m so glad you’re enjoying the show! Hopefully by the beginning of next year you’ll start seeing some new episodes!
God bless you!